MONDAY: Love for Trinity
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Hello Family … It’s Monday. I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend. We had a pretty good holiday weekend but it was overshadowed by other events.
“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened. ” – Anatole France
On Friday, July 3rd at 12:15 am we chose the most humane course of action for our beloved fur baby. We chose to put her down as her lungs were filling with fluid and she was unable to breathe. We are (1 year after our boy cat Maximus) now grieving for the remaining family pet and in all honesty … I don’t know how much my heart can take.
Trinity was 15, and while she drove us crazy and had health issues towards the end of her life, as a family we were glad to be a part of her life and give the best life by providing her a home, care, and the most love two people can give.
As this experience was different from my boy cat, we were there with her until the end and chose not to continue to watch her suffer. We held her, we talked with her as she drifted into eternal sleep. I know that life will hum along but she wasn’t just a pet she was family, and it’s taken everything in my power not to abandon this blog, but to keep going and keep on keeping on.
I Want To Be Honest
I’ve always tried to remain candid, and give my readers the most honest information and open my life experiences to share to help others, but I’m so saddened that everything I do is unbearable. I know this is a process, I’ve been through this process where my chest was tight, and my body was filled with so much anxiety, sadness, and grief, that I can’t think straight.
I’ve been through the what-ifs and “what have I done wrong”, or “I should have questioned the miss-diagnosis”. Cats are interesting creatures and the best at hiding pain and symptoms. We were told she was in heart failure, and that she has an overactive thyroid, but then we were told cancer, and all the prognoses for everything going forward would be so stressful.
And then He stepped in. God doesn’t wish creatures to suffer, that’s not living, that’s keeping her around for us which is selfish. I have to believe in my heart that I did the right thing. When we last saw her off oxygen and anesthesia she was so disoriented and declining quickly, I did what anyone would do.
We cry we pray, and we grieve, sleep, wake up, and do it all over again. This quiet in my house is deafening and creates more sadness. My daughter and I have leaned on one another to get us through. This is a process so I ask that my blog family bear with me and the influx in my posting schedule.
Today I end this post, sad but positive and a little broken. I know it will take time, but my heart is broken and this is a wound that only time can heal.
Thank you blog family for allowing me to share my feelings of grief. It is this platform that acts as a coping mechanism for all of my life’s moments. Thanks for hanging with me today, and as always. — Know Thyself —
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