A Healing Diary: My Journey Towards Better Mental Health
Hello Friends and welcome to the blog today.
“It’s ok, not to be ok”
Hello beautiful people and how are you? I hope you’re being productive, staying hydrated, and enjoying the last few weeks of “official Summer”.
Today I’m sharing a bit of my journey with therapy. I know it seems like a daunting task but one of my “to-do” things for 2022, was seeing a therapist. Therapy has been helpful to me in the past and over the last few years, especially with the pandemic I’ve needed to work through some issues.
Finding a Therapist
It may seem like choosing a therapist is hard but for me that part was easy. I made so many excuses over the years because I knew I needed to sit down with someone but it was easy to say, ….well I don’t have time, or it will be too hard to find someone I’m comfortable with, or my insurance doesn’t cover this.
Initially, my job didn’t cover these types of doctors and treated therapy or psychiatry like it was something that was mine (ours) to bear and mine alone. However, if I can’t get out of bed every day for whatever reason, and if I find it harder and harder to complete everyday tasks, then it does affect everything else. I can’t be good at anything externally if I don’t take care of the internal.
So sans COVID, my job has really been pushing “it’s ok to not be ok”, “we are here for what you need“, and “check out this webinar if you’re having trouble coping“. Seeing a therapist is not a trend. I need to feel better and more confident about my decisions, I need to stop beating myself up for not owning a home, I need to understand that I’m human and shit happens and that’s ok.
But this year…no more excuses. A great way I’ve been finding doctors is by using ZocDoc. You just plug in your information and insurance and ZocDoc will curate a list of doctors, with their specialty, and patient ratings so the choice is yours. (Note: I found a great eye doctor in my area for my yearly check-up, and was the most thorough exam I’ve ever had.)
The First Virtual Visit
It’s hard to lay out everything in your life for a stranger but you take baby steps. My appointment started with the basics, background, family, work, hobbies, etc. It was a general understanding of who she was how and how she goes about the process. What it boiled down to is “what do I want to achieve”, and “where do I see myself”.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again adulting is hard. There are some things in this lifetime in which the regular means of healing don’t apply. I always read my Bible when I need comfort, when I’m having a difficult time, or for inspiration. Most of my older relatives believe that there is nothing that church and fellowship can’t fix. I beg to differ… One can also say it depends on your situation, and what you are comfortable with working through.
You could argue …why it has to be one or the other. If I am to seek knowledge and help myself, then I should be able to do what want by any means necessary. There isn’t an either-or when it comes to mental health because the goal is to get better and use what works for you.
You Can Go With This or You Can Get With That
The choice to seek out therapy should be yours and yours alone. For me, the only hurdle was my headspace telling me things like, “you can’t afford it“, “what good will it really do“, or “I’m going to be in therapy forever“. This is where I revert to the Bible because all of this negativity is fear and fear is the devil, and that’s all it is. Talking myself out of what’s good for me.
The Work Begins
Now the real work begins because yes …my therapist gives homework. I have to start working on my goals, working on myself. Again …I have to learn the art of doing nothing, of not working, not cleaning but just giving my mind a rest. No one says this work will be easy, I know it will be difficult, I know I have to get through it, but for the first time in a while, I’m ready to get through it, I’m ready to move on and mentally healthy.
Some additional sources for therapy are
With this post, I hope that I’ve given you some insight on seeking out therapy because, in reality, we don’t (always) have it all together, all the time. And even those of us that seem to really be on the right path, may have reached out for a little helping hand.
Thanks so much for visiting the blog today. Don’t forget to follow and subscribe, as I really appreciate the support. — Peace