52 List for Happiness

Sunday Journal: Chit-Chat … 52 List for Happiness [List #6]

[This post was originally created on August 19th, 2019, all comments and likes were lost]

Hello friends and Happy Sunday!  I’m beginning my week with a better outlook as I’m looking forward to Fall with cooler temps and time to reflect.  This past weekend has been great as I’m still purging and adding some of my fall decorations to my place … which always makes me happy.  I scored some great things on Saturday so I can’t wait to share them this week.

This week is List #6 and it asks … List the Things (from your past and present) that feel like blockades in the way of happiness. I want to say that this list is long and that there are so many things keeping me from it but it’s not.  This list is short but potent.

List #6: List the things (from your past and present) that feel like blockades in the way of happiness.

1. Fearcollage_Sunday8_19
2. Current position [at work]
3. Past experiences [baggage]
4. Self-doubt
5. My own stubbornness

TAKE ACTION: Look back at LIST #5 and see if any of your past great decisions can influence how you handle the things that currently stand in the way of your happiness.

I learned a long time ago that “I” am my greatest nemeses when it comes to being happy and this weeks list is the perfect example of that. Fear is listed as #1 … it’s the one thing that I can point a literal finger at, and proudly say it’s the reason for everything. Fear guides my thoughts and my life decisions. If I would have just taken a leap in some of my earlier life experiences and kicked fear to the curb, I think that I would be a different person. I know fear up close and personal, fear to me is Satan … it’s my adversary and has kept me from some of life’s best experiences. I want to say that I’m slowly stepping out from under that cloud … but it’s not easy to just speak it into existence and leave it there. Fear stopped me from picking up the camera sooner and going to college right out of high school. But then I think that God intervened which is why the things that fear kept me from … I excelled at later in life which gave me a better advantage and understanding.

My current position has been a blessing and a curse because I struggled with a horrible boss for 14 years. Fear kept me from leaving because I didn’t think that could find anything better [self-doubt] and I had a family to care for. However … stubbornness [which is last on this list] kept me there. I got to a point where I decided that no one person was going to be the reason why I left my job or make me miserable to the point of leaving. So I dug in my heels and in my mind … I was like … ok, you wanna fight – bring it on. With 750 words a day, my blog, and the choice to pick my battles [which are in list 5], I learned to deal with the different personalities on my job, and now when things get thick, I deal with them head-on.

Past experiences and self-doubt are at the center of that ball of fear. My past relationships have hindered my personality and for a time made me hard to get along with. I just didn’t think I would ever find someone to make me happy on the level in which I needed to be. There is a saying that “one bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch” but one bad relationship can ruin all others. Again this is where my stubbornness is kicking in because [in my head] everything was a fight, I had to learn [which is on List 5] to let my relationship guard down so I can receive love … and if I receive love … then I can freely give love. It’s a beautiful thing and something I’m still working on. All humans are a work in process. We’re just learning to be better people and make better life choices.

“It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.” ― Chuck PalahniukDiary

Thanks so much for visiting my blog today and with each post I hope that I can bring some of my happiness to others because if you have joy in your heart  then you spread that joy. – [Know Thyself] Wye

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