"The Tea" // Sunday Journal Entry … Chit-Chat: Age Ain't Nothin but a Number + Relationship Lessons [part two]
I’ve been handed this statement since I started dating in my 20s. It’s thrown around so loosely + that very few people even ponder what it truly means. Yes in the majority … “age ain’t nothin but a number” it’s more of a gauge to work with. How young is too young + how old is too old. How offended would you be if someone said … “your too old or too young for me”. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve had a relationship with + or dated anyone that was significantly older than me. [I’m talking about 10 or more years]. Now if we get into younger [yes … the tea is spilling] + then I’ve had my share. Some that were to young to know better + or too young to have the experience required to handle a relationship. I don’t mind introducing you to a few things + but I’m not trying to be your teacher. I also think that the person would come to resent me over time + if all I’m doing is trying to teach you rather than + . giving you some pearls of wisdom from time to time. As we know it’s the norm for a man to be with someone younger. [Hell] in the 50s and 60s it was commonplace for a man to marry a woman that was barely 20 while they were in their 30s. [My parents are 8 years apart] However + when a woman does it…she’s a “Chester” or a “Cougar”. It’s this thing that no one talks about until someone gives up the ghost. If your partner is so young that you can’t take them to meet your older friends [or vice versa] then maybe it’s an issue.
My belief is … if you like the person that’s underneath the surface of that younger or older facade then [damn-hell] age ain’t nothin but a number. If your an older woman and you still got it….then I ain’t mad at you…[don’t hate the playa…hate the game]. Now this subject probably wouldn’t have turned up in my chit-chat but I am dating someone younger…how much younger [well] I don’t know if wanna spill that tea. Let’s just say old enough to keep up + and young enough to make me feel fantastic. I don’t want to believe that there’s a stigma attached to dating someone that’s younger… [you know where I’m going with this from my other chit-chats] my feeling is … if you like the person + and you have chemistry … then let that shit flow and don’t worry about any one else or any other influence. Do you.
As promised I wanted to continue to share the list of the relationship lessons that someone shared with me. Here is the second set of 15. (and like last time….I’ve modified this list because that thing called a relationship doesn’t just apply to men and women + it crosses all paths and genders)
Relationship Lessons [part two]
- Always have your own set of friends separate from the relationship.
Maintain boundaries in how you are treated. If something bothersyou, speak up.
- Be honest and upfront.
Don’t fall for the [okie-doke] “I’m confused role”. Remove yourself from thesituation to let them figure things out (but don’t wait for them, moveon).
Don’t let there be rules placed on you that your partner is not willing to follow — double-standard.
Don’t EVER make make your significant other feel they are more important than you are…even if he or she has more education or a better job.
Do not make him or her into a quasi-God. They are human, nothing more nothingless.
- Demand respect and if he or she can’t give it, then he or she can’t have you.
Don’t compete with other woman or men, but be aware that some people are attracted to what they see.
- Actions speak louder than words.
- Never rely on a man or woman for compliments, look to yourself for that.
- If they cheated with you, they will cheat on you.
- Love is a verb.
You should not be the one doing all the bending…compromise is atwo way street.
You need time to heal between relationships…there’s nothing cuteabout baggage…deal with your issues before pursuing a newrelationship.
[You know I have to add a “Disclaimer” as from last week] Just to be clear + I’m no expert + I don’t profess to be + I only know what I’ve learned on this earth for half a century + and when I have something that’s worth sharing + I’ll always pass it along … with that I’ll close this Tea Session. I’ll be back next Sunday with more to spill. Thanks so much for visiting my blog today + and don’t forget to like + and follow .
— Know Thyself —